Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Allow Ourselves to Introduce.... Ourselves

Nugs: When I mentioned to my friends that I was considering starting a separate blog just to bitch about the lack of adequate penis in my life, a bunch of them were like, "why don't we just all do this together?"

Tits: Really, Nugs and I have been talking about doing this for a year because seriously our love lives are hilarious.

Nugs: I'm surprised this even made it off the ground, honestly. We always talk about doing stuff and then never get around to it. So, this is pretty exciting. For me, anyway.

Ginny: Exciting in the pants?...

This blog makes total sense since it seems like every conversation I have with my girls revolves around my unintentional celibacy. Tits has some of the best dating stories I've ever heard, for better or worse (mostly worse), Lily just recently announced her engagement (!!!!!!), (Lily: Who knew someone could make an honest woman out of me?) and Ginntastic has an awesome boyfriend. (Ginny: New boyfriend. I am totally not good at long term dating so I'm sure you'll hear plenty from me about that)

Meanwhile, despite all my self-deprecation, I happen to be in the middle of a very successful, 29-year-relationship. We never argue over which movie to watch or what to have for dinner, there's always an abundance of chocolate and lingerie and I always receive the BEST compliments. Oh, and no one is left sleeping unsatisfied in the wet spot. It's the best partnership I've ever had- I call this "masturdating."

Ginny: How have you made it work for so long?
I'm not touching that paragraph with a 39 and 1/2 foot pole. 
I. Don't. Know. What. To. Say?
Nugs: A 39 and 1/2 foot pole sounds kind of painful. I much prefer the lead pipe in the kitchen. Or the rope.

At any rate, the four of us- Coyote Tits, Ginntastic, Lily and myself- have decided that we should subject you all to the flukes, fails, and fatalities of human mating rituals- and sometimes, hopefully, even some fornication.

Enjoy. Or, we're sorry.


Penny Lane on August 1, 2012 at 9:27 PM said...

I am really excited about this.

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