Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Don't Call It A Comeback

Seriously, don't. There is an explanation as to why we've been gone for so long and essentially, you can all blame the Holiday Season. Basically all of us were too busy dealing with binge eating/family circus/opening presents (or in Tits' case, spending an obscene amount of cash on her dogs (TitsBitch I got them Flea Medication)) to remember to post. Sorry. We love you, and it probably won't happen again. Possibly. Maybe.

So here's what's went on during our month-long sabbatical:

LILY: I've officially moved in with Ivan. Well, unofficially officially because I don't pay rent and my mail doesn't get set there.

GINNY: I watched a lot of Doctor Who. This is important. David Tennant is important. 

Nugs: Rory is also important. He's usually overlooked, which is unfair because hell-O.

Seriously though, besides that I've been pretty busy at work and just living life. My brother came to visit in December so I was also spending some time with my family too.

TITS: During December, Imac and I went to Florida to meet the respective parents. My family used me to run errands, make dinner and wrap presents. Imac's mom nagged us about getting married and having kids even though we haven't been dating a year. Then I spent January looking for a new place to live as my lease is expiring.

Lily: I've also been looking into getting an apartment (so we don't have to live with other people) ... apartment hunting is hard.

NUGS: Tell me about it. There's always one deal-breaker, like a mal-functioning faucet, creepy landlord or sitting atop an indian burial ground. Anyway, as for me-

As much as I tried to avoid this life-altering event like Kim Kardashian avoids nuclear physics, I turned thirty.

 Honestly, it really doesn't feel that much different from 29, probably because I'm still giggling at the word "feel."

Despite having a whopping case of this "mutant cold" that's been going around (as if I didn't feel old enough already), my birthday, referred to (by me) as Zero Dark Thirty, was nice and low-key, with a guest-appearance by honorary Snark and Sex-er Tabs. Since I was sick, I'm planning a do-over in the summer when it's hot and I can have drinks by the pool.

Ginny: Winter birthdays suck. (Nugs: Strongly agree.) My birthday either falls on a massive snow storm or the super bowl. It's all about me people NOT football.

Lily: My birthday is just there. Nothing important in March.

Nugs: That means it's all about you. Score!

Tits: My birthday is on mother-fucking Cinco De Mayo, which means I have to spend every birthday eating Mexican food and taking tequila shots and generally sharing it with a non-real Mexican holiday. It is never about me.

Nugs: Are you kidding? That is ALWAYS about you! Badass.

Tits: Are you kidding? It's more like "oh its your birthday? Want to come do tequila shots at our preplanned Cinco De Mayo Festivities because we totes forgot it was your Bday."


Speaking of hot, I'm no longer the token Single Girl here at Snark & Sex. The Mayans were probably one year off because I have actually tricked some guy into liking me enough to keeping me around after sleeping with me. We met through friends at a bar and have been together a little over a month, and he seems relatively normal. I have heretofore dubbed him "Iron Man," and since my S&S avatar is Donna Troy of the DC lexicon, I'm predicting a merge of the most epic proportions. If I don't fuck this up. Which is probably a given if he ever gets a glimpse at my robot collection.

(In case you're all wondering, he doesn't look anything like RDJ, or I would have already married him.)

Please. I'm taken, not dead.
We'll be heading to Boston next weekend for Ginny's birthday, so she'll have plenty of opportunity to tell you guys all about him when she unfairly judges him. It is her job, you know.

Ginny: I'm turning 29 25 guys!

Nugs: Yeah, and I just turned 22 for the 16th time in a row. None of you get to say shit about being old ever again.

Lily: And here I thought that I felt old ....

So there are your updates on why we've (not) been ignoring you guys the last month. We've reconvened just in time for Valentine's Day, because we're a dating blog so of course, and we'll be posting on our respective relationships (note: Tits' first date with Imac is HILARIOUS).

Ginny: I don't know... did Tits' first date involve shingles on her butt? Mine did.

Tits: Did he get drunk and spend the whole night acting like you had cooties?

Nugs: Did you get drunk and spend the entire night hoping he wouldn't notice and then make it safely home only to fall asleep next to your toilet?

We're also looking for guest bloggers to share your public awkwardness, so if you're interested, drop us a comment and let us know. We're taking submissions (that's what she said) about first date/meeting stories from now until Valentine's Day. Also, guys- we want to hear from you too!

Copyright © 2009 Blogger Template Designed by Bie Blogger Template Vector by DaPino