Flirting Like A 12-Year-Old Apparently Leads To Marriage

So, before I get started I should probably tell you all who I am. My name is Tabs (duh), and I’ve been friends with these ladies for something like 4 years now. You know how most sitcoms have that one token friend from another country? Well, I’m not THE token friend. But I’m close. I think it’s safe to say I’m a token Canadian. Kinda like Robin in How I Met Your Mother, except that I don’t live in NYC.... yet.

Nugs: If you want to relocate to NYC, no argument here. Just sayin.

Lily: So you were a pop sensation that toured malls?!

PS- Canada is still hilarious. 

When the girls asked me to write a post for their Valentine’s series I was like HELL YES! See, like my lovely nerdy friends here, I am incredibly socially inept. As fate would have it, so is my fiancé. The two of us are like one big mound of awkwardness.

Ginny: Am I the only extrovert on this blog who actually loves talking to anyone?

Tits: Nope, Extrovert right here. People just think I'm a bitch.

Nugs: Me too. But I've also been told that I come across as "intimidating."

I’m not normally one to rush into relationships. I like to take my time to get to know the person a bit first before we delve into stuff. But with Scott, I was head over heels from the moment I met him. We had only known each other for three days and we had already started the awkward flirtation. And by awkward, I mean those childish little tickle fights you use in high school to try and see if the other person will hold onto your hand. We spent the whole day doing this while watching Game of Thrones and Harry Potter.

Tits: This is still better than my version of flirting which is generally to act like the little boy who pulls pigtails. I just poke boys and tell them their sports team suck and expect them to swoon.

Ginny: This sounds like a pretty awesome day to me! Flirting + Game of Thrones + Harry Potter = YES

Nugs: FYI, Game of Thrones should usually not be one's base for a solid relationship. You might want to use it to choose your pets, though.

DRAGONS FOREVER.

When he suggested that we go out for dinner, I wasn’t sure if he was asking me out on a date or just casually suggesting he didn’t want to cook. (Nugs: That totally sounds like my bf. Not stealth.) After having held hands pretty much all day through our tickle fights, we didn’t even come close to touching each other as we left for dinner. At one point, I accidentally bumped into Scott and awkwardly apologized.

Lily: Ha! I do that too! But I'm also super clumsy.

Dinner was even worse. Although we talked a little bit, for the most part we both sat there awkwardly, trying to figure out if it was a date or not. I stuttered pretty much every time I spoke, and he had this nervous laugh that made him sound even nerdier than he is... in the bad way. I’m pretty sure our waiter got the ‘first awkward date’ vibes off us, because he popped over to check on us and strike up conversations more often than the typical waiter. Still unsure if it was a date or not, I fumbled for my wallet after we were done. Scott assured me dinner was on him, as it was appropriate for the man to pay. An indication I thought might mean it was a date, but I was still unsure. I later found out that asking me out for dinner and dropping the paying line was his attempt at getting me to confirm whether or not I thought it was a date, so he could figure it out too.

Tits: I feel like this is the premise to some indie romantic comedy. If its not a movie yet, it should be.

We went back to his apartment after and popped on a movie again. I think we both wanted to bring up the day’s events but we were both too nervous. He did grab my hand again, this time without the tickle fights.

When it was time for me to take the one-hour drive home, he walked me out to my car, still holding my hand. We stopped beside my car and he pulled me into a hug and we just sort of stood there. I shyly admitted that I hated that I had to leave, and he agreed. He hugged me again and I unlocked my car and opened the door.

To this day, Scott maintains that he had thought of a great way to ask me out in his head, but in that moment, he was so nervous that instead he blurted out “So does this mean we’re dating now?” (Lily: I just had flashbacks to 7th and 8th grade)

Tits: This is so adorable and incredibly nerdy that I approve of Scott all over again.

I had to laugh, which unfortunately made him even more nervous. “I don’t know, does it?”  I asked.

“I don’t know... do you want it to?”

“Do you?” I of course was screaming yes in my head but I didn’t want to say yes if he didn’t want to.

Tits: At this point I would have been all "yes it does" because I can't stand that back and forth not knowing shit and would be like "well since you're letting me make the decision..."

Nugs: Guys never get hints. Just look at my story from before.  

Eventually he said yes and we had our first kiss. He was kind of a bad kisser, so it was really weird, but me being damn good and all, well let’s just say he’s come a long way since then.

Ginny: He must have really swept you off your feet because sometimes a bad kisser can kill any feelings you might have.

My favourite part of the whole thing came after I had left though. I’m sure the girls here will remember that when I was dating my last boyfriend, I often got frustrated with the fact that he refused to change his Facebook status from ‘single’. I didn’t even care about having it saying that we were in a relationship, I just wanted him to take down that damn status that broadcasts that a person is still on the market.

Nugs: I remember that dude. What a world-class douche.

Tits: Yeah I hate that shit. I don't care if we're "facebook official" but don't go around acting like you can fuck anything you want and it won't have consequences.

I got a Facebook notification about five minutes after I left Scott’s place... saying that Scott had just updated his status to say he was in a relationship with me and asking me to confirm. Pretty sure I had a massive grin on my face the whole way home.

Lily: Awwwwww!!!

That was the beginning of one of the most awkward relationships ever. And now that I’m marrying him in two months, I hope that never changes.

Lily:  Triple awww!!!!!

Tits: So Cute!!

Nugs: Strongly Agreed. (Cue romcom end credits here) 

Ginny: Good job Scott ;)

Nugs: +5.

FYI, for those of you looking for more from Tabs, you can find her over at I Am, Therefore I Do. Thanks, Tabs, for guest blogging and letting us be lazy for another few days while we think of our next topic. If any of you ever want to post for us, drop us a line in the comments- we're always looking for minions!

A tale of romance and shingles. How Ginny met Derek.

Derek and I starting dating in May of 2012. We met the new old fashioned way, Okcupid. I had just ended a relationship of about 8 months in March. I decided to get back up on the dating horse but I wasn't expecting much.

Nugs: Is it wrong that when I saw "dating horse" I immediately thought of something really dirty? I also thought of this right afterward:

Tits: You would.

Nugs: It would have been a Fail if I didn't.

Okcupid can be really depressing. You start to think that there are no normal guys on here. Heck I'd even take a guy who can spell!

Tits: Understatement of the year.

During this time I reached out to a guy that I had blew off after a few dates during my last round of internet dating. He was a nice guy and I felt horrible for doing that to him. When I saw he was still on there I messaged him to apologize and he asked me out again. Then Derek messaged me.

At first I wasn't going to respond to his message because he only had one picture. For some reason I don't trust a guy with one picture but it was a clear picture of his face, not some sketch pic where you can't see what they look like. Plus he had a cute face and I loved his eyes.

Nugs: I've met Derek. He does have really nice eyes.

What really blew me away though was his message. Once I read it I realized this guy could actually form sentences and he read my profile. After checking out his profile I knew we would get along. We had a lot of similar interests and something about the way he wrote I liked.

Tits: And he didn't include the words "meat hole" or try to get you to sleep with him while his creepy girlfriend watched I'm sure.

Around the time I started talking to Derek I developed shingles on my butt and lower back. It was not fun, let me tell you. It was due to the stress of my bathroom being remodeled and it going horribly. I had been on medication and although I was still itchy and couldn't wear pants I said yes when he asked to meet up.

Nugs: "I don't think we should meet because you're not wearing pants," said NO GUY EVER.

Also, thanks to this and the movie Ted, I now know WAY more than I ever wanted to about Ginny's butt.


Lily: LMAO! I had that same thought when watching Ted all 5 million times.

Tits: I guess I ought to see this movie, but then I know nothing about Ginny's butt either.




Ginny: HEY! There are the annoying trashy Boston girls and then there's the sweet nice Boston girls. I only drop my Rs when I'm drunk or say blender or when I'm yelling.

We hit it off right away. I felt pretty comfortable so a few drinks in I dropped the s bomb "I'm getting over shingles on my butt and I can't wait to be able to wear pants again". Derek's reaction was amusement rather than horror which is good. I told him that I often just say things without really thinking them through.

At the end of our date while he walked me to the T he took off his sunglasses and handed them to me. He said "now you have to see me again so you can give me back my sunglasses." There may have been some kissing involved. It was really quite sweet. I gave him my sunglasses to return to me and well here we are nine months later.

Lily: Okay, so I'm really a sucker for all of this, because it brought a little tear to my eye. AND I played it in my head ... and it looked like a Nicholas Sparks movie.

*And if you're wondering about the other guy that I had been on a few dates with that I had blown off before, well I told him I met someone and he probably hates me. Poor guy, he was actually nice there just wasn't any spark.*

Poor guy. He probably feels like he got played.

Nugs: OK, so I met Derek a couple of weeks ago when I made one of my semi-yearly trips into Boston for Gin's birthday. We debuted the respective boyfriends to each other and they both passed our tests, according to the mass emails Gin and I sent out to the other Snark Girls. Once one of us hates you, well, that's pretty much it. Because you know, Chicks Before Dicks. So it's nice to know that both Mr. Ginny and Mr. Nugs have ben accepted by all. 

I actually have to give Derek a Golf Clap; meeting me for the first time together with Ginny in any vicinity that involves alcohol will usually cause any guy to look over his shoulder in fear for the rest of his life. I can't remember the last time Ginny and I hung out where we weren't off-the-scale drunk; most likely with some homoerotic activity, usually started by me. Well played, Mr. Ginny. Well played.