So this was originally posted on my personal blog because its just too good not to share. But in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I'm willing to humiliate him all over again; this time with commentary! I know Nugs has been waiting to comment on this FOREVER.
Nugs: OHMYGOD, YES. This is the greatest first date story in the history of the invention of things.
My first date with Imac was like a complete travesty, in he-failed-so-miserably-it-was-almost-cute way. He asked me if I wanted to grab a drink with him over the weekend. This seemed like normal friendly behavior and whatnot so I was all "sure if you want." So he calls me on Saturday and he's hanging out at his boss's house, who obviously I know and invites me over there. Which of course sent me into complete panic fits because I can go out in public and have a drink; but inviting me over to someone else's house who I only kinda know, and god knows how many other people are going to be there causes me to hyperventilate because I am oh-so-socially-awkward and don't know how to act in public.
Nugs: We're all going to be friends for the rest of time because we're too inept to meet other people.
So I head over to his bosses house and luckily for me its just him and his boss, and his boss is nerdy and cool and we generally get along. So we hang out there for a little while before we leave and I figured we'd head to a bar, but IMac is like my apartment is right around the corner, lets just go watch a movie. Now the skeptical girl I am knows better than to go back to some guys apartment on the first date, but considering Imac has kept more than 5 feet away from me the whole night, I wasn't too worried. Plus the boy is about my height and weight, so I'm figuring I can take him if I have too.
Nugs: Jell-O match?
So we go back to his apartment, crash on his couch and watch tv. And by crash on his couch I mean he sits as far away as humanly possible from me on an L shaped couch. I mean the boy didn't come within 3 feet of touching me the entire night. I was starting to think I had caught a rare case of adult cooties or something. We talked about general stuff, but didn't really flirt at all and I figured he just liked me as a friend. Whatever, that takes the pressure off me to be
"You want to go fool around in my room." I'm pretty sure I looked like a deer in headlights after he said that. I was completely in shock, because you know NORMAL GUYS DON'T SAY THAT. I remember thinking "Is he serious? Is he implying what I think he's implying and does that line ever work?" So I'm in shock and I'm thinking all this when I realize he's actually looking at me and expecting an answer so I managed to squeak out an "No, I think I'm good here," in like my Alvin and the chipmunk voice. I was way too shocked to play cool on that one. For his part he mostly shrugged his shoulder and went back to watching TV. Let me reiterate that he hadn't come within 3 feet on me the entire night, not even within arms distance of me when he said that. It wasn't like I had been sitting on his lap making out with him. In his defense, he had been drinking and probably had about 6-8 beers at this point. So his brain function was probably minimal. Anyways I left about 30-45 minutes later and pretty much laughed my entire drive home.
Ginny: This is from a movie. I mean I can't even imagine this happening in REAL LIFE!!
Nugs: Also at this point is when I got the first text from you and we spent a good week and a half going over his spectacular tower of fail. I mean, really, who does that? Although the two of us are notorious for overanalyzing everything to death and calling everyone we know about everything anyone ever says. So you know, tit for tat.
It was such a spectacular failure and he was so in earnest about everything that I ended up giving him a second,third... fifth chance. It was a good decision because not only does he say retarded things all the time, I have never ending list of stories to tell. You know and he tolerates my nonsense.
Ginny: I is only lucky dude that you gave him another chance after that stunt.
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